Innie or Outtie?

Which are you?

As a card carrying introvert, it took me a few decades to realize
there is nothing “wrong” with me. Weeeeeeellllll…allow me to rephrase that…ahem:

While there are many things wrong with me, the fact that I’m an introvert is not one of them.

It’s been estimated that upwards of 70% of the population leans toward extroversion…so you can see how as a significant minority, we introverts could begin to feel a little like outliers whose salvation finally came with Susan Cain’s 2013 book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

So what is all this anyway? Intro- vs extro-? It’s easy to fall into the trap of generalizations and oversimplifications, e.g. →intros- are shy and extros- are “people-people”…

Not so fast, Chic-a-dees; in an ‘egg’shell, let me clarify:

This personality differentiation has to do with how we connect to the world, not only with people, but with our thoughts, our environments, and the sort of cosmic energy, starting at the atom level, that creates the universe.

→Pause for personal anecdote (a cue for those who aren’t interested to skip on down the road)…

In college, Chickens, I discovered beer.

Oh, it was ‘beer’witching!

Just a few drinks and I became an entirely different person …gregarious, quick-witted, open…the life of a party I came to love. It allowed me to become someone unrecognizable to myself…easily talking-small, meeting people, moving from one group or place to the next with gleeful ease.

Until I saw any of those people the next day and ducked into the landscaping for cover. The butterfly can’t go back into the cocoon!?! And so I went for years, living a sort of double-life…introvert by day, extrovert at night.

Alcohol helped me feel more “normal,” more like everyone else. At the same time, I realized it wasn’t sustainable…I couldn’t spend my life ducking into phone booths with a 6-pack (mostly because phone booths have gone by the wayside)...

It was this awareness that motivated me to learn more about why I was not “naturally” social…why everyone seemed to thrive talking, interacting, keeping up with who was who and when and where and what…and I had to consume a couple hundred liquid calories before I even started to care…

And so I learned about Jung and Myers-Briggs and personality types… learned that we introverts may be a minority, but we are not broken and do not have to “fix” ourselves with alcohol, Facebook, or cabi parties…we do not have to punish ourselves with situations that leave us feeling sad and spent.

And because, Chickens, learning and growing is our business…we understand the question has now become:

Innie? Outtie? OR Ambi?

An ambivert? A constant and fluid movement along the continuum? That depends upon the day, the circumstance, the company? Well! I. Will. Be. Isn’t this interesting? It is, indeed, all relative.

The key to our happiness, well-being, success, seems to be in identifying those situations, environments, and people that nourish us…that stimulate us to observe and reflect and also those that motivate us to explore and interact. We can be one and the other, from one day to the next…w/o even touching a Bud Light.

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.

Walt Whitman

If you’re an extro- or if you’re an intro- having and extro- day (AKA=ambi-)…share your thoughts in the comments section. I’ll be writing more about these personality types soon…

Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?

No matter where you live – you need to create your personal at will, will travel ‘hood’ of neighbors.

Old school…

“Remember that no one succeeds alone. Never walk alone in your future paths.”

Sonia Sotomayor

You need to organize your coop, strategically, Chickens and because I love you (though I’ve left you hanging on the blog string for a good while now) I am going to (as I always do, Boo) give it to you straight.

These are the peeps you need to keep in your crowd. Ya’heard?!?!

  • BFF – Ahhhh…so obvs, right? Someone who’s got your back…front & sides…shared history, similar interests…understanding and acceptance…a total “no-judgement” zone. You decide to take up belly-dancing…full-on…bedlah head-to-toe…she’s by your side shakin’ her tambourine.
  • PUCK – It is important to have a ‘neighbor’ who can “puck you” when you need a good “pucking”…a clever, mischievous sprite whose impish grin and playful spontaneity keep you laughing at the silly absurdities of living…Lord! What fools these mortals be!
  • MASTER PO – Find yourself a mentor…a wise one who sees the world as you hope to see it, whose grace and agility with nunchucks makes you quake with respect and admiration. Someone to train you in the ways of the world, to help you hear the symphony of grasshoppers at your feet. (AKA-YODA)
  • LIFE PARTNER – Whether there’s a ring on it or not…we need more than ❤️ and 💐 … we need trust and intimacy (look it up), Feathered Friends, not to mention someone to wash while we dry…
Image result for you complete me
  • B-BUB – As in Beelzebub. Yep. Believe it or not, it’s good to have a ‘frenemy’ or ‘nemesis.’ A little competition keeps us motivated, pushes us to improve, keeps us focused…remember…the tragedy of life, Fine Fowl, is not in failure, but in complacency.
  • HAL – (before he goes rogue) We need a voice of honesty and objectivity in our lives. Someone who will, without ill will, tell us when a pair of pants makes us look fat or our chicken a la king tastes more like poultry for puppies. We need someone in our lives who doesn’t care about our love or approval…someone who can tell us those things that are hard to hear, someone who doesn’t care about protecting our feelings or about our fits and pouts.

So…did I miss a neighbor we all need? It’s mid-term…a supa-dupa time to take stock.

If there’s someone I missed…add them to the list by contributing in the comment section above.